


A Beacon Called Home

by freddiejoey



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-31
Updated: 2011-08-31
Packaged: 2017-10-23 07:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freddiejoey/pseuds/freddiejoey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would ever terrify Arthur?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Beacon Called Home

The village seems busier than usual today. All bustle and hurry and haste. A flurry of thatching and daubing. A whirl of sweeping and straightening. A stir of sharpening and whetting. Arthur looks around approvingly. Good to see so much methodical precision without constant prodding. It warms a practical chieftain’s pragmatic heart.

Striding through the longhouse doors, Arthur is surprised by the quiet. No Llud making rush lights or honing his knife. No Kai carving a drinking horn or Lenni creating something flavoursome at the table. No Rowena flitting around in her breeches or the usual rowdy sounds of two toddlers and a baby. Strange……and the main room is somehow so neat and exact. Lenni must have tided with a vengeance this morning.

Into the bedroom………..and suddenly realisation dawns. What is missing……..the green coverlet, a precious gift from his mother Vala to Rowena’s mother Catrin on her marriage to Yorath, always draped across their bed………Llud’s mud-splattered boots thrown in a corner………Kaitlin’s wicker basket and the boys’ sheepskin pallets……….Lenni’s shift folded beneath Kai’s pillows……..Kai’s Yuletide axe with a dark lock of hair woven into its binding………..Everything is so spartan and fastidious. Just as if his family never existed. Just as if he is here alone………

And Arthur wakes up yelling, butting his black head against Kai’s naked chest, hearing his big brother’s soothing remonstrations.

“Arthur……..Arthur……..beloved………..it’s all a dream………you’re safe………come here………. come here to me, my love.”

Tenderly Kai holds him while the violent shuddering subsides, while he slowly anchors himself in reality again………the camp fire…….a warm spring night……..on the way home from Dirk’s territory…….Kai lying beside him among the sheepskins and hides……..their recent fervent lovemaking………nothing threatening at all…….

When Arthur is still again, simply huddled silently in the curve of Kai’s body, Kai sits up enough to reach the mead flagon, pours two generous cups, hands one to his little brother. “Do you want to tell me about it?” Watching while Arthur drains the honeyed wine in one long swill. “No……..I……..do you mind?”

Bemused, Kai takes a sip, considering. “Of course not. As long as you can promise me to sleep soundly and stop buffeting like a heat-ridden stag. …….Here, this might help.” His mouth meets Arthur’s in a gentle kiss and smiling, Arthur nestles into him, eyes already heavy with impending slumber.

So………..mended perhaps………..no more nightmarish concoctions………

Waking up soon after daybreak, Arthur berates himself for a fanciful fool. There is Kai, already dressed, stirring scalding porridge over the fire, becoming aware of Arthur’s eyes peering out from his fleecy nest. “Good morning little brother……..I hope this doesn’t burn your throat…….I love you.” Being given a steaming hot bowl and an even steamier hotter kiss. No man could ever be more wanted or desired or blessed by the gods……..

Riding into the village that afternoon. Llud’s boisterous greeting. Lenni wreathed in smiles, her two little Saxons chattering like excited tow-headed magpies. Rowena rushing around from the stables with Kaitlin who crows in delight at the sight of her father and uncle. No man could ever have a family that was more welcoming or cherishing or cherished………

Plainly, the village is nowhere as spick-and-span as in his nightmare, the longhouse is comfortably rumpled, the sleeping chamber littered with toys and axes and a priceless emerald coverlet……………And he would alter absolutely, utterly, none of it. Not one askew gate. Not one chipped goblet. Not one of Llud’s decidedly smelly boots.

 

Lying in bed that night, surrounded by all that the nightmare had denuded………. listening to Rowena, Lenni and the children breathing quietly around him, listening to Kai and Llud still talking softly over their mead in the next room, Arthur crosses the index and second fingers of his sword hand. Superstitious Celtic nonsense of course (hurriedly stamp down the fetid memory of who uttered that phrase long ago on a windy hill), designed as a talisman to ward off ghouls and witches. Yet perhaps some sort of protection also against bad dreams. Silly maybe, harmless certainly – and in his present edgy frame of mind, he needs all the help – and luck- that he can get.

Through the wicker he can make out Llud questioning Kai about Dirk’s procrastinating over making his mark on their new treaty. “Just the usual from old Squint-eye.” Kai takes another noisy slurp of mead. “Arguing about disputed hunting grounds and boundaries that were old when his grandfather was still a vassal of the Romans. Finally Arthur lost patience and gave him a good tongue-lashing. Asked him why he was as scared of putting quill to parchment as facing Cerdig’s hordes. Then of course Dirk became sulky, mocking Arthur as he who is legendary for not wavering at the point of many swords. Huffing that one day Arthur will encounter a situation that genuinely terrifies him, like any ordinary mortal. But at least the bloody treaty got signed and sworn. Meaning we were free to come home.”

Turning over in bed, Arthur feels the ice stealing across the pit of his stomach. So that was where……….He had hardly noted Dirk’s surly rejoinder at the time. Dirk habitually pestered and stewed before doing exactly what he had been asked to do in the beginning anyway. However some worm of uncertainty had still crawled…….taken surreptitious root………blossomed within his dreams……….

Grimly Arthur reflects that now he is assured of what truly strikes fear into him……….what prostrates him with dread and horror……..

Yet there is at least one unerring amulet that can be employed as a defence wall………

Finally calmer, Arthur closes his eyes, letting his father and brother’s tipsy murmurings lull him into dreamless sleep.

The next morning, soon after breakfast, Arthur finds Llud up behind the forge, rummaging through some old discarded weapons, weighing what can be salvaged and what is only fit for throwing into the estuary. Stands for a moment, quietly watching the man he has loved as a father as long as he recall, his memories of Travon being so sparse and fragmented.

Seeing Arthur, Llud smiles ruefully. “Mostly rubbish I’m afraid. Mostly bound for the water. Only a few likely bits and pieces that might be tempered into……” and gets no further as suddenly Arthur encircles him in warm arms, holding him so hard that the breath is crushed from his body.

Just as suddenly Llud is flooded by dread. If this had been Kai……..no surprises there, his elder son has always been openly demonstrative, but his restrained younger boy………

Quickly he pulls away from Arthur, looks deeply into those midnight-blue eyes that are so truly Vala’s. As could be other less welcome legacies………hence the unexpected embrace. “You’re not sickening are you……..?” Overwhelmed by debilitating memories of the blood flecking Vala’s pillow………Such things it is said can be bequeathed………

Slowly Arthur shakes his head, swinging the raven hair that is also an exact replica of Vala’s if cut to her collar, instead of falling past her waist. “No, I’m perfectly well……that is……….I simply wanted to show you……..tell you……..that I love you………how grateful I am that you are my father……..” The words not flowing quite as readily from his tongue as they would spring from Kai’s.

Weak with relief, Llud gently cuffs him with his good hand. “I already know that silly boy – every day. You and your brother…….the best of sons. But thank you all the same. It is very nice to be reminded without prompting now and then.”

Smiling in acknowledgement, Arthur nods and disappears back around the side of the forge. Llud returns to his busy foraging, blinking back encroaching tears,. “You did well with that one my darling.” he softly tells Vala in his mind, “No actually we’ve done well, you and I together…….as we would have done with so much else……given time and the indulgence of the gods………”

Down at Lenni’s hut, Kai is chasing his boys exuberantly in and out of the doorway, pretending to be a crouching wolf, making them squeal in mock fright. Lenni is sitting outside in the sun, stitching a new shirt for him, the same burnished berry-brown as his eyes. Another cause for gratitude. It could so easily have been Goda or Eithna………

Inside the longhouse, Rowena savagely pulls the feathers from a heap of quails, frowning as she stuffs their naked cavities with rosemary and fennel. She would much rather be sewing while Lenni plucked and wadded – but of course it is Kai’s shirt. Beside the hearth Kaitlin is asleep, although for how long with her finicky disposition is anyone’s guess. Rowena grimaces. Not an easy baby like Kai’s boys, this one. Something to do with her and Arthur’s feistiness, compared to Kai and Lenni’s relatively even tempers perhaps.

Now Arthur bends over the basket, silently regarding his daughter, tenderly brushes one finger across her downy cheek. He seems preoccupied, chewing on a thumb nail, staring into the fire, not speaking. Rowena opens her mouth to ask what’s wrong, when, all at once, he is beside her. Grasping her hands that are mealy with herbs and brine, blue eyes feverish. She looks up at him quizzically through the wafting feathers.

“You’ve always known how I am……..” Arthur, grappling for words………well, wonders will never cease. “Too many things between us go unsaid because I cannot think how to say them flawlessly and then………” Smiling, Rowena places her fingers against his lips, quails and seasoning be damned. “Oh Arthur, yes I’ve always known exactly who you are …….and it’s why I love you more than life. What you say to me is far better than flawless because it’s real…… And even though I’m certain that I could no more change you than I could a wild bear, I wouldn’t want to anyway.”

Reaching up to kiss his aromatic mouth, steadily holding his gaze with her heart in her eyes………..

The stuffed quails actually prove to be quite savoury – even more palatable than the “half-decent” meal which once prompted a drunken Yorath to gift his daughter that large contentious parcel of land. Afterwards, Kai murmurs to Arthur that since it’s such a fine evening, they should ride up to the ridge above the village, laze in the warm spring weather.

Out over the estuary, the night is being born in a descending golden ball of honey, refracting bright swathes of pink and lavender. Reining in his horse, Kai dismounts, spreads Arthur’s cape on the grass, drapes his piebald cloak around both of them. Sits contentedly with Arthur burrowed against him. Drinking in the citrus scent of his little brother’s black hair.

“So…….” Speaking carefully, softly, bestowing a rather careful soft kiss. “Both Llud and Rowena have happened upon me in the course of the day to ask if something in particular is troubling you and I answered no, I don’t think so………but it’s the nightmare isn’t it? Somehow it’s concerned with loss, needing to show those you love how much they mean……..?

Without warning Kai’s mouth is claimed in a kiss that is anything but careful and quiet, that is fierce and lush and unsparing. “There…….because you are my Kai and it’s always been useless concealing anything from you and loving you is as inevitable as breathing.” Arthur slips his arm around Kai’s serpentine waist. “The worst nightmare and probably the only one that would ever truly terrify me…….. Losing our family, losing you……..” Gesturing out toward the longhouse, tightening his grip.

Kai’s lips burnish that fragrant dark head. “Well, lucky then that none of us ever have any intention of going anywhere. And that you own me for life.” Finally he feels Arthur’s body relax as the tension leaks away. “My heart……..” Arthur’s tone is wondering. “Why did we spend so many foolish years butting our heads together like rutting stags instead of simply being as we are now, in this moment?”

Mischievously Kai’s mouth twitches. “I seem to remember quite a bit of delicious rutting in between the butting beloved……..But to answer your question…….probably because just when we were dancing nicely in the fire, you would become as stubborn as the winter rains and we would be soundly doused.” Arthur gives him a playful prod in the ribs. “Not invariably my fault………you could be obstinate and reckless too big brother.”

“Anyway.” He sweeps his lips across the curve of Kai’s neck. “At least one of us would always wave a white flag when the other thought it was really all over forever.” Kai shivers, completely wrapped around by his furry dappled cloak perhaps, yet also utterly enfolded by love. “Funny……..I haven’t seen a white flag for years little brother. Just your smile telling me every morning that I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

They sit on blissfully until the sky is a deep, rich, velvet blue more bottomless than any ocean, until the stars twirl above them and the night wind whispers of roses and honey. Then slowly they ride down toward the longhouse, its candlelight glowing through the wicker, guiding them back to the beacon called home.


End file.
